One Night Stand Predictions

One Night Stand is on Sunday. Like a real one night stand, you have to pay $40 or more for it and the money is never worth it. Anyway, me, Majoordood (my brother), and Deadopossum (friend) got together and talked about this PPV. Here are our predictions:


Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga- Falls Count Anywhere

Roadkill: Jeff Hardy will win this. They're not going to make him lose because this is his second PPV since his return and that would make him look weak. (They already made the PPV loss mistake with Jericho, which means they might be smart enough to not screw it up now). Also, the WWE is trying to make it look like Hardy has no chance, but every time they do that the "weaker" person wins.

Majoordood: Honestly, Jeff Hardy is going to lose. I just know it.

Deadopossum: Umaga defeats Jeff Hardy.




Batista vs. Shawn Michaels- Stretcher match

Roadkill: HBK wins with some help of Jericho.

Majoordood: It's a little close to call, but I say Batista.

Deadopossum: Michaels



#1 contenders match, winner faces Kane at Night of Champions- Singapore Cane on a pole match

Roadkill: Big Show

MD: Show will win, but I think Punk will cash in MITB later in the night to win the ECW title.

DP: Show wins.


Melina vs. Beth Phoenix- I Quit match

RK: It's really close, but I think Melina wins after a few shot with her boot and her submission hold- I have no idea what it's called.

MD: Beth Phoenix by a long shot.

DP: Roadkill, your brother is right. Melina has no chance in hell.


John Cena vs. JBL- First Blood match

RK: Cena, but man. Bradshaw has to win once in a while. They should have him win this match, but Cena will to keep the little kids quite. Imagine if Cena lost- little Timmy wouldn't shut the hell up. It'd be "Daddy, Bwardshaw is a big meany stupidhead. He beated John Cena. Why you take me aw da way to San Jeigo if Jonh Cena wost?! Screw you daddy. I like mommy now." The dad would be all pissed and go to his wife, "I told you I shoulda worn a condom." Then he would leave and little Timmy would have no father. He would grow up a criminal and he would become president of Venezuala. He would nuke Stamford (bye-bye Tiatn Towers) and he would force the rest of the world to become like one of Venezuala's state prisons. Imagine Mrs.McDougal next store playing rolling roullete. Or Mr.Ivankloffski who just moved from Russia shooting at Eric, the emo kid who lives around the corner.

MD: I say that Roadkills being ridiculous, but I still think that Cena will win.

DP: Cena kicks asch.

RK: What the hell is asch.

DP: Ass.

RK: Then say ass, you ass.

DP: The FCC may be reading.

RK: THE FCC! REALLY?! I can't f'n belive you. Hey, I meant to right the F word.

FCC Worker: Deadopossum is right. The FCC is reading. We are sensoring your site until One Night Stand.

RK: What the hell just happened? I thought you guys were in charge of radio and- ohh snap. Thanks JBL.

JBL: Your welcome.

RK: You just Closelined the FCC worker. He is a nice guy. He SHOULD GET HIS PUSH, WWE. AND I'M NOT JUST MAKING THIS UP AS I'M GOING ALONG. NO SIREE-

Sorry, but Roadkill was mauled by the entire FCC while finishing this article. The FCC sued him for hiring the APAto take out the FCC guy. Yes, the APA. Simmons couldn't make it. Anyway, RK countersued and won a million dollars, paying WWE to make Triple H and The Undertaker win at One Night Stand.

Too many Surprises in WWE

I thought about it long and hard. WWE has been shocking us too much lately. I have evidence, too. It was Royal Rumble 2008. We werte awaiting entry #30, when Cena's music hits. He comes in and wins the match. We all thought he wouldn't return until later this month, but that's not the case. Then even more shock, he uses his title shot at No Way Out. That's against tradition! And it's shocking! Cena loses, and the main event for Wrestlemania is HHH vs. Orton vs. Cena for the WWE title. Or at least we thought it was going to be the main event. It's right after Bunnymania, and before Big Show vs. Mayweather. We had a long night before WM was over. We all thought HHH or Cena was going to win, but Orton does. Then he loses it a month later. What the hell was the point of that?! You had a heel win Raw's WM main event but the good guy wins it at a lackluster PPV?! It's official- WWE tries to shock us too much.

Thoughts On Last Nights Raw

Raw is getting better every week in my opinion. And Smackdown is getting worse every week. Go figure. Last night on Raw we saw Jeff Hardy and Umaga in a match, only to end in a draw. These two will fight in a Falls Count Anywhere Match and ECW One Night Stand. The match type caught me as surprising, becuase Cena and Khali fought in one in last year's main event. This year's main event is a Last Man Standing match between HHH and Orton for the WWE title, but we saw that same exact match at No Mercy. This is why this PPV gets the lowest PPV buyrate every year. No one wants to see the main event. I would've went with a Falls Count Anywhere for the main event. And instead of JBL and Cena fighting in a First Blood, I would like a Last Man Standing match. Hardy vs. Umaga: First Blood would've been fine. Also, Batista beat Jericho, meaning that he will fight HBK at One Night Stand. The way they handled this whole thing from Backlash on is retarded. They could make Jericho and Batista turn heel and make it a 2 on 1 stretcher match, but that's not gonna happen. Or Jericho and HBK could gang up on Batista so it would kinda make sense, but WWE isn't smart enough to do that. Also, WWE made this storyline look more retarded than Timmy from South Park last night when they made the "Winner faces HBK at One Night Stand" stipulation. I could see if HBK was a title holder, and this were a title match, but COME ON. That's like making a, "Winner gets to be rivals with HBK for a month" stipulation. Batista should've interfered with the match on Sunday, his match with Jericho shouldn't have had a stip, and HBK should've just came out and superkicked the living crap outa him. Also, Pheonix beat Maria, HHH and Cena lost to JBL and Orton and oh- Regal was fired. He lost to Mr.Kennedy in a No DQ loser is fired match. This makes no sense, after he took Raw off the air, and he messed with matches, and made crazy stips. He should be un-fired and he should rival with Kennedy a little longer. Oh well, this is Roadkill. See you next time, I guess.

Judgement Day 2008 Result: Cena/JBL, Miz and Morrison vs. Kane and Punk

Unlike I predicted, Cena beat JBL and Miz and Morrison retained their tag titles. I could see me being wrong on Cena's match, but I was shocked that Morrison and Miz retained their titles.