One Night Stand Predictions

One Night Stand is on Sunday. Like a real one night stand, you have to pay $40 or more for it and the money is never worth it. Anyway, me, Majoordood (my brother), and Deadopossum (friend) got together and talked about this PPV. Here are our predictions:


Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga- Falls Count Anywhere

Roadkill: Jeff Hardy will win this. They're not going to make him lose because this is his second PPV since his return and that would make him look weak. (They already made the PPV loss mistake with Jericho, which means they might be smart enough to not screw it up now). Also, the WWE is trying to make it look like Hardy has no chance, but every time they do that the "weaker" person wins.

Majoordood: Honestly, Jeff Hardy is going to lose. I just know it.

Deadopossum: Umaga defeats Jeff Hardy.




Batista vs. Shawn Michaels- Stretcher match

Roadkill: HBK wins with some help of Jericho.

Majoordood: It's a little close to call, but I say Batista.

Deadopossum: Michaels



#1 contenders match, winner faces Kane at Night of Champions- Singapore Cane on a pole match

Roadkill: Big Show

MD: Show will win, but I think Punk will cash in MITB later in the night to win the ECW title.

DP: Show wins.


Melina vs. Beth Phoenix- I Quit match

RK: It's really close, but I think Melina wins after a few shot with her boot and her submission hold- I have no idea what it's called.

MD: Beth Phoenix by a long shot.

DP: Roadkill, your brother is right. Melina has no chance in hell.


John Cena vs. JBL- First Blood match

RK: Cena, but man. Bradshaw has to win once in a while. They should have him win this match, but Cena will to keep the little kids quite. Imagine if Cena lost- little Timmy wouldn't shut the hell up. It'd be "Daddy, Bwardshaw is a big meany stupidhead. He beated John Cena. Why you take me aw da way to San Jeigo if Jonh Cena wost?! Screw you daddy. I like mommy now." The dad would be all pissed and go to his wife, "I told you I shoulda worn a condom." Then he would leave and little Timmy would have no father. He would grow up a criminal and he would become president of Venezuala. He would nuke Stamford (bye-bye Tiatn Towers) and he would force the rest of the world to become like one of Venezuala's state prisons. Imagine Mrs.McDougal next store playing rolling roullete. Or Mr.Ivankloffski who just moved from Russia shooting at Eric, the emo kid who lives around the corner.

MD: I say that Roadkills being ridiculous, but I still think that Cena will win.

DP: Cena kicks asch.

RK: What the hell is asch.

DP: Ass.

RK: Then say ass, you ass.

DP: The FCC may be reading.

RK: THE FCC! REALLY?! I can't f'n belive you. Hey, I meant to right the F word.

FCC Worker: Deadopossum is right. The FCC is reading. We are sensoring your site until One Night Stand.

RK: What the hell just happened? I thought you guys were in charge of radio and- ohh snap. Thanks JBL.

JBL: Your welcome.

RK: You just Closelined the FCC worker. He is a nice guy. He SHOULD GET HIS PUSH, WWE. AND I'M NOT JUST MAKING THIS UP AS I'M GOING ALONG. NO SIREE-

Sorry, but Roadkill was mauled by the entire FCC while finishing this article. The FCC sued him for hiring the APAto take out the FCC guy. Yes, the APA. Simmons couldn't make it. Anyway, RK countersued and won a million dollars, paying WWE to make Triple H and The Undertaker win at One Night Stand.