WWE Monthly Awards

Every month I will hand out Awards to WWE Superstars. At the end of the year, I will hand out the yearly Awards. Here are the awards for the month of January:

1st Award: The "I thought The Undertaker was dead" award (for the wrestler whos gimmick was most likely forgotten by the fans.)

Nominees: Finlay, CM Punk, Chavo Guerrero, Mark Henry

Winner: CM Punk. We all forgot that he doesn't like Meth because he's probably allergic. We also forgot that he is addicted to competition. This means he is probably addicted to John Morrison.

2nd award: The John Cena Award (for the wrestler who is most likely to win every match next month)

Nominees: Edge, John Cena, Chavo Guerrero, Triple H, The Undertaker

Winner: John Cena, and not because I named the award after him. Cena is Superman. He won every match for thirteen straight months. Of course he is giong to win at No Way Out.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: IF YOU ARE BETTING ON THE CENA/ORTON MATCH AT NO WAY OUT, BET ON CENA. HE WON EVERY MATCH FOR THIRTEEN STRAIGHT MONTHS.

3rd Award: The "Thats a nice pair" Award (for the best tag team)

Nominees: Carlito and Santino Marella, The Edge-heads, John Morrison and The Miz, Chavo Guerrero and The ECW title, Big Flabby V and Mark Henry (You Know, Mark Henry. The guy with a black hole for a belly buttton)

Winner: Carlito and a-Santino Marrella. Well, I guess Santino is in 2 tag teams now. The new MNM (Marrella and Maria), and Carlito and Santino. I think 2 letters sum up January. S and M. Oh wait...

4th award: The Miz Award (for the worst Wrestler of the month)

Nominees: Colin Delany, Colin Delany, Colin Delany

Winner: You guessed it, Colin Delany. He hasn't won a match yet, and an old hag like Tommy Dreamer won't help him. Lord give him strength. Wait! What's This?! The Lord and Shawn Michaels have come to give Colin Delany strength! Look, they are to the right! Now maybe Colin can actually win a match!

5th award: The "What ever happened to that guy?" Award (For the guy we haven't seen much this month)

Nominees: Victoria, Kenny Dykstra, Gregory Helms, Trevor Murdoch, Tommy Dreamer

Winner: Gregory Helms. He's been out for a long time because before the wolverine snapped and let out some domestic crossfaces, he injured Gregory Helms.

6th award: The most useless champion award (For the championship that has been a mere prop for the last month)

Nominees: The United States Championship, The Intercontinental Championship, The Cruiserweight Championship

Winner: The United States Championship. MVP has been trying to end Flair's career-not trying to defend his title. Besides, who cares about the U.S. title anyway?

Final Award: The Wrestler of the Month Award (Only a dee-dee-dee wouldn't understand what this is for)

Nominees: Michelle Mcool, Supercena, Jamie Noble, Edge, Finlay, Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero, Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, MVP, Hornswoggle, Ric Flair

Winner: Jeff Hardy. Who else jumps off the top of a stage and nearly breaks their neck?

Tune in next month for February's awards.